what a day. i cant wait for this semester to be over so i can ride, show, (find a job), hang out with my friends and mark. this year has been so tedious... school wise.

i miss 2006/2007. those were some prime years.

today i lost my car.

today is also the first day i've cried in a long, long time.

I mean like actual crying, actual tears running down my face, can't speak and hard time breathing.

why is my life such a stupid mess all the time.

ack

so i haven't written anything in a long time on here... also haven't been active online at all aside from twitter, which i mostly do from my phone now anyway... haha. School's back in full swing and I have an amazing set of classes this year. Digital video art is pretty much the best thing ever hahaha. I can't wait for that class to completely get started.
Most of my IASC classmates rule or whatever, so hanging out with them rules, plus there are only three girls in the class so the drama is sooo minimal and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Stoked on lunch time. a 6 hour class sucks. :(

i'm so glad...

that i only have one ex boyfriend. because the one i have is a complete and total IDIOT. Rude, inconsiderate, racist, everything. you name it. here, a conversation we had just today.

1:30pm Josh
i'm sorry for you ariel
that you're canadian
and you don't know any black people
1:33pm Ariel
are you stupid?
1:33pm Josh
are you stupid for thinking i'm serious?
you already answered me.
i celebrated my independence day by hanging out with all the black people that woldn't be here today if we hadn't caught them and sold them
god bless 'merica
1:35pm Ariel
you're never going to grow up and get a clue are you.
1:36pm Josh
you're never going to gain a sense of humor in replace of your inner bitch, are you?
and i'm on salary nigga, when will you grow up?
1:36pm Ariel
salary = being an adult? its a state of mind.
oh, and not being a racist bastard also hekps.
1:37pm Josh
salary actually means obtaining a set income for a fiscal year
but hey
you went to community college
1:37pm Ariel
i went to college
there is no such thing as community college.
1:38pm Josh
ah yes
i forgot
canadians call community college, college
1:38pm Ariel
i am now in university, building on that.
1:38pm Josh
and real college
university
1:38pm Ariel
once i'm done that, i may go to grad school.
1:38pm Josh
my canadian is a little bad
sick
get dem dollas
and yes ariel
i'm racist
because 9 out of 10 of my best friends are brown
and i burn crosses on the weekends
did you get the new brokencyde album?
1:40pm Ariel
unlike what you are doing with your life, i have a plan that is going to get me somewhere in life. so i can live comfortably and not have to worry about anything money related. which will be lovely and a lot more than anyone else could ever offer me.
and no. they suck.
1:40pm Josh
lol
they are amazingly terrible
it astounds me how something like that can exist
and that's cool, i'm guessing your main motivation is to get away from your parents
that was mine
1:41pm Ariel
no, it isnt
i love living at home.
i love my parents.
1:41pm Josh
i just completed culinary school and work at an upscale french restaurant as a sous chef in downtown st. louis
yeah
i love my parents to death too
but i couldn't stand them continuing to take care of me
i wanted to be completely independent
1:42pm Ariel
when i'm done school and have a good job i'm probably only going to move out to somewhere close.
1:42pm Josh
that sounds good
you're near everything though
so that works
my parents live a good hour and a half from any big city
i'm actually moving to san francisco june of next year and am starting my job at a ralph fiat restaurant in the bay area

etc etc. do you see why he is an EX-boyfriend? yeah.

oh jeez,

my bad. I've not updated for a month. I'm sorry. I've got like... three journals to update. my LJ which is more private... my tumblr, which is for fun things like pictures and quotes and stuff... and this one. which is for... well tbh mostly just following and reading other people's journals, which i do every other day or so. So yeah. updates don't much happen on here simply because nothing ever happens in my life/if something does happen, i tweet almost immediately. which makes this blog pretty much irrelevant. oh well. i'm sorry but not really.

Basically my life is work, sleep, work, sleep etc. there is literally nothing going on in my life. it kinda rules, but it kinda doesnt! whateveerrrrrrr

this isn't the first time I've blogged these lyrics

"Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person,

And the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?

So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.

It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions

And to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.

You let this one person come down in the most perfect moment.

And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is

A reminder of what I'll never have

I'll never have... I'll never...

Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in.

Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in.

But this table for one has become bearable.

I now take comfort in this, and for this, I cherish you."

take this to heart

"all i want from you

is time to explain

i swear you don't have to be afraid

all i want from you

just give me the first chance

because second chances never matter

all i want from you

is just a little more than this

you can talk to me i promise

all i want from you

is your smile

            i couldn't lie to myself

            saying you don't mean a thing

            a year and a half long crush

            you're impossible to get over

all i want from you

is for you to understand

i'll cross my fingers and hope you can

all i want from you

is for you to hold my hand

run your fingers down my arm

that's all i want from you

just take this to heart"

thank you charles leslie, for these words.

because they are so simple and so amazing and they make me think

and I have hope. a lot of hope for the future. i know it's going to be amazing. I just have to wait it out. and i know i can because it'll be worth it. I don't know what "it" is, or will be, but it'll be something. and it will be worth it. i am excited for the future. so much. and i'm going to love it.

sighh

some days i wish i had someone to be soinlove with.

you know?

it would be nice.

:D

it is BEAUTIFUL outside.
and I'm going to have to write essays REALLY fucking soon.
I don't wanna.
not. at. all.