College is frustrating. When you don't belong there, mostly I guess. I really don't belong there. I'm (here's me being humble) way too smart. I should be in University. But I was a slacker in high school and didn't get good enough marks.
Between 15 hours of class a week, 20+ hours of work a week, riding, and general galavanting around, I don't have time for essentials. I don't eat, I don't sleep, I rarely see my family. I really don't know what I'm doing right now.
The not eating thing is my own fault.
Have you ever wanted something so badly you'd do anything to get it?
I right now have something like that. Something I want so much, I feel like I need it. He just doesn't know it.
Or he does and he's just being a jackass. What else can I do to make myself desireable? I am always there when I say I will be, I'll go out of my way to do something for him. I try to be mad, but I can't even stay that way when I see him. I've been ruining myself for him. I know it's not healthy or good or anything. But I need it.
I have no power over this and I don't like it one bit. I don't like getting so frustrated about something like this.
maybe you could keep me up in bed
If you know who you are, know
You've brought me home. I was drifting. I was driftwood. I just need something a little more solid.
You could provide that.
I'm not perfect.
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